Uncertain Future

I need a break from the uncertainty in my life. Every once and while I need a change. Even if it's a small change, it's a change none the less. I rearranged my bedroom for a sense of difference. I dropped someone who was bringing me down. I took a different route to class today. Sometimes simple things can make a huge difference in your perception of life. My life is preparing for some major change in the next couple years.

It's exciting for me to think about my future, but it also scares me shitless. Things have rarely worked out as I have planned or wanted. I got stuck in a rut thinking that it will always be this way for me. I just needed to break the monotony and mediocrity that has always plagued me. I've realized that it is me and me alone who can break the cycle.

It's too bad I can't predict my future. As much as I love chaos, it bugs me not knowing where I am gonna be and what I am going to be doing when I graduate from OSU next year. It will be a completely new experience for me. Before, I have only worked dead end jobs, and haven't really accomplished much. Sure, I worked my ass off at those jobs, but it was never going to get me anywhere. Now, however, I will have a chance at a real professional career. It's what I always wanted, but never knew how to do it. Each passing day it becomes closer to reality. It is an exciting experience for me. I have recently found a few fields within civil engineering that I feel I could enjoy and be successful in. There are also a few firms that I would love to work for. I really don't know where I will go from here, but I do know it's better than where I was headed.